Reaching Out to Women Online via Email – What to Say

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Hook her by your first email ...

You can create a killer profile, but it will only get you so far. The most important part of attracting women is the initial adult dating email you send them. It needs to be catchy, classy, humorous, creative, personalized, original, and short and to the point. That might seem like too many characteristics for one email, but it’s not. After you’ve written the first email on an adult dating site, before sending it, make sure it meets those guidelines.

Catchy: The subject line of the email should not read, “hey baby, you’re so sexy”. She probably has 15 other emails with a similar heading. Being catchy in the subject line is important so you get her immediate attention. Use a play on words or just be humorous without being raunchy. The first email introduction also needs to be catchy. It must give her a reason to read the rest of the email.

Classy: You’re on a hookup site, but women dig men that have some class. The guys that send her perverted initial emails clearly don’t know what to say on an adult dating site. And they’re definitely not having sex with the hot women on the site. If they’re lucky, maybe they’ll bang a 300-pound 50 year old reject. Hopefully you’re setting your standards higher than that.

Humorous: It’s a known fact that women are attracted to men with a sense of humor. A great way to overcome your physical shortcomings is to make her laugh – well, as long as she’s not laughing at your face.

Creative: Being different than the other guys is crucial. Since attractive women receive dozens of messages from horny men everyday, being the most creative of the bunch will help make you stand out.

Personalized: Women want to feel special. Take the time to read through her profile before sending her a message. Your email should prove you did that. I don’t recommend copying and pasting email templates, but if you do, at least make some sort of mention to something she specifically said in her profile.

Original: Again, I’m against copying and pasting templates. If you find a site that supplies you with email templates, you run the risk of sending the same email to a girl that other guys sent. None of you will be getting laid.

Short and to the point: She’s not going to bother reading an email that is 500+ words. Probably not even if it was 300 words. Don’t make the email too short, but make sure it’s not too long to scare her away before she even reads it. I don’t want to give you a set word count because I think it will affect how well you write the email. But try not to go beyond 125 words, and no less than 75.

Example of What NOT to Send on a First Email

Subject: You got a fine ass baby!

Email: Just wanna tell you that your ass is turning me on! I’d give anything to bend that sexy ass over and do you doggystyle. Hit me back soon. I’m horny and can meet you any time!

What’s wrong with the email? A better question would be what’s NOT wrong with the email? Everything is wrong with it. The body of the email doesn’t even matter because no respectable woman is going to even open it with that lame ass subject line. In the slim chance it does get opened, the guy comes off as a disgusting pervert and clearly has no game.

Examples of Successful Emails

These are actual emails I have used to start getting a conversation going with women online. They are very successful at doing that.

Subject: I promise I’m not a disgusting pig!

Email: I noticed in your profile you were completely turned off by “disgusting pigs”. I don’t blame you. But I wouldn’t mind seeing some of the messages men send you on here, for my own enjoyment. Maybe we could share a laugh together at their expense. In all seriousness, I did check out your profile and thought you’d be the type that would be fun to hang out with after we had sex! You said you’re a big baseball fan, so who’s your team?


Email: I’m sorry to disappoint you, because I know just how much you women love it when a random stranger sends you a picture of their junk, but I don’t have any pics of my junk to send you. I hope that doesn’t immediately eliminate me from consideration of being your next AWESOME booty call. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you. Since you’re an avid runner and we both live on the west end of town, maybe I’ll give you some company on your next jog. How’s that sound?

What’s right about these emails? Both of them were classy, personalized, and I mixed in some light humor. I didn’t go on and on about what I want to do to the girl. Sure, when I wrote the emails, I was fantasizing about what positions I would do her in. But I made sure to keep those thoughts to myself until the time is right to share them with her.

The main goal of the email is to get her to respond. You’re not trying to score any set dates at this point. Once she responds, you can offer up your cell phone or IM screen name so you can have a nice conversation. Remember to do the following 5 things on your initial email and I guarantee you’ll get positive responses from hot women:

  • Create a catchy subject line
  • Keep the email short and to the point
  • Make her laugh
  • Mention something from her profile to show her you’re not just sending out email blasts to 100 different women (even though you probably are)

Ask a question – preferably at the end – so she has something to respond about